Smiling While Hiding Pain

Still wondering how my future going to be. Is it going to be the same as now? Or different? If its different, how much difference it is going to be? There is time I feel so tired...thinking about my life, my fate and my pain that no one knows. Living my life as normal as I can smiling, laughing hiding my thoughts.

My dream, my happiness is all being buried. I buried them myself. I thought by telling closest people about what I feel, they would help me but they all think differently. I want to break free... I want to be able to do things that I want to do, things that makes me feel happy.. But why am I too afraid? Am I a coward?

If only someone can reach out their hands to me and telling me that everything going to be fine and I will found my happiness, I would be so happy. 

I'm just trying to survive each day... 

In this pain that no one knows...

I'm just going to smile